Is KVS real?
We go to great lengths on KVS to keep it real. The following excerpt from an 2008 interview I did explains the global strategy of the show and how we produce it:
How would you describe Kenny Vs Spenny?
Did you really get blown by the transsexual in the Who Can Bone More Women competition?
This is what I wrote on the Showcase website and I will never publicly comment on it again:
Spenny: I’d describe us as a comedy duo. Everything Kenny and I do is essentially a reality take on the classic comedy duo. That’s just who we are, and we realized it. We made Pitch and got to watch ourselves on camera for the first time and see people laughing. I think I ground the show in a certain reality that otherwise wouldn’t exist if it was just Kenny, or if there was another guy like Kenny, or vice-versa. Fundamentally, it’s a straight-man/crazy-man act, but it’s not an act, it’s real, and that’s why I think the show is so successful. We exaggerate who we really are a little bit, but it’s essentially us. We’re first and foremost comedy guys, but we never went to acting school or anything like that. We’re comedy nerds, really. Let me put it this way: If you hung out with us in high school, you would have seen a very similar dynamic to what you see on Kenny vs. Spenny. Obviously, in television, we have a budget, we’re creating competitions that could possibly be funny, so it becomes a little animated, which is fine.
Over the course of doing the series, we’ve created a production model that allows for as much realism as possible that allows us to produce shows with beginnings, middles and ends. One of the ways we’ve achieved this is that essentially I’ve agreed, for good, or for ill, to be conspired against. Literally everyone knows what Kenny’s going to do to me, but me. This is what I had to agree to in order to capture out real life dynamic on television. It sucks to do it, but it makes for funny reality television, which for me, is what it’s all about.
Okay. Terah had a penis. I now understand why intercourse was out of the question. I suppose on a purely sick level this might be seen by Kenny as the greatest achievement of his “adult” life; hiring a pre-operative transsexual was yet another example of Kenny fearing a legitimate loss in a crucial male competition by hijacking it under the guise of a “clever” master plan. I fully admit that I was blinded by my desire to win -- Terah could have had a goatee and I may have missed it. But defeating Kenny is my job and I make no apologies. Though my arousal strategy was solid, and has served me well in my civilian life, the cameras made it difficult. Terah’s willingness was my only road to victory and just didn’t realize the road was under construction.
Is your penis really an in-ee?
No. I as I've said repeatedly it is a respectable 6 inches erect. According to the landmark Masters and Johnson sex study my length is considered above average. And I have no problem admitting it's smaller than Kenny's.
Are you and Kenny still friends?
Our friendship has been understandably strained ...and the show has only added to the tension. I think of Kenny as the brother I never wanted and am fairly certain when the dust finally settles we will be closer than we are presently. I'd like to think as old men we’ll someday sit in a deli reminiscing on the madness that was KVS.
Why don't you cheat on KVS?
I don't cheat because cheating is wrong -- mind-boggling concept, isn’t it?
Do you lose every episode on KVS?
I do not. In fact, if you consider Kenny's obviously documented cheats, my record is quite respectable.
Do you have Downe Syndrome?
Not that I'm aware of.
Are you pedophile?
Do you have sex with pugs?
Do you live with Kenny all the time?
No. I live at the KVS house during filming, but I also have a safe apartment so that I don’t have a full-blown nervous breakdown.
What is your favourite episode?
Who Can Stay Naked the Longest?
What was the worst episode to do?
Who Can 69 the longest?
What was the worst humiliation?
Toss-up between eating Bobby’s pubic hair, being tied-up and whipped by a transvestite dominatrix and Kenny’s tongue scraping.
I suppose I could argue that because Terah sees her/himself as a woman that I actually may have won the competition…but it's too late for that. I guess we'll never know what would have happened if Kenny hadn’t ruined the competition like a frightened little girl. Maybe it's Kenny that should seriously look at the validity of his gender orientation.
For the record, I remain, as always, a heterosexual male. My support of the gay and transgender community is as solid and sincere as ever. If there appeared to be any shame on my part when Kenny revealed to me that Tara was not a full female, please understand that it was shock, not shame. I know there will be Kenny fans that will snicker and call me names, and if there is any shame to be had, that's where it belongs. What happened, happened, and I'm going to look at it as a life experience not many heterosexual men get to have...I never thought I'd have something in common with Tommy Lee.
Though I fully support Terah’s right to be comfortable with his/her sexual identity, I do not support sleazy payoffs and cheating. Shame on you, Terah. And shame on you, Kenny. Shame. Shame. Shame.
For personal and professional reasons, I will never speak about this competition again.